Lesson: hand rankings

This is how the hands rank, from lowest to highest:

1/ The worst hand in holdem is 75432. Seven high.
2/ All unpaired hands come next, ranked by the order of their highest card A6432 beats KQJ32. (Note that A5432 is actually a straight, known as a "wheel" or a "bike".)
3/ Pairs are next. They rank from 22 up to AA. When we say "top pair", we mean the best possible pair on the flop. On a flop of K32, top pair is a pair of kings. If you and your opponent both have the same pair, they are distinguished by the highest side card, or kicker. On that flop, if you hold AK, you have "top pair, top kicker", known as "TPTK". If you have second kicker (a queen in this instance), you have TP2K. If you have a small card, or "rag", you have TPNK. N = "no". TPMK is "top pair, meh kicker". That generally means one you don't think beats your opponent's.
4/ Two pair is next. They rank from 3322 up to AAKK. Note that it's only the bigger pair that counts unless you both have the same bigger pair. AA33 beats KKQQ, and AAQQ beats AA33. If you both have AAQQ, your kicker will play. Say the board is AQQ3 and you have A9. Your hand now reads "AAQQ9". You would beat A8, but you are "behind" AT. We say we are "ahead of" hands or "ranges" that we are beating, and "behind" ones we are losing to. Why ranges? Well, we don't know what the others have, but we can put them on ranges. We know the kinds of hands they play, so we figure they have a range. Our hand can be beating that range, or some of that range. Even if you are only beating some of what he might have, you can be "ahead of his range". This is an important concept in poker and particularly in STTs.
5/ Next is three of a kind. If this is made with two in your hand (known as a "pocket pair" or "PP", because your two "downcards" are your "pocket cards" or "hole cards"), this is usually called a "set"; if only with one in your hand, usually "trips". But people mix this up a lot and a lot of people call sets trips. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that you grasp that a set is much stronger than trips on the whole. A set is a very strong hand, nearly always. Trips not always.
6/ Next is a straight, any five cards in consecutive order. Straights rank from A2345 (the wheel is the lowest straight even though aces are the highest cards, you'll note), up to TJQKA. 56789 is a straight. TJQKA is called "Broadway" and the cards that make it up are often called "Broadways". KT is a Broadway hand. Sometimes we'll say a player is calling with "any two Broadways". Couple of things to note with straights. They are much stronger when they are made with both your holecards. If you hold AK on a QJT board, you have a very strong hand. If you have 62 on a 4578 board, you have a straight but it's not so strong. Also, you can have different ends of the straight. If you hold T7 and the board is J98, you are beaten by QT. If you hold 73 and the board is 89TJ, you do not always have a strong hand, even though you have a straight, because any Q has a bigger hand.
7/ Next is a flush. Five cards of the same suit. Again, they rank from seven high up to an ace, and what counts is your highest card.
8/ Next is a full house or a "full boat" or just "boat". Sometimes when you're drawing and make your hand, we'll say you "filled up" or "filled your straight" or "boated up". It all means you made your draw. A full house is three of one rank, a pair of another. Only the top rank counts when you compare fulls, unless you have the same, then the pair plays. On a TTT37 board, 88 beats 87, although both have fulls. It's always worth bearing in mind that the other guy can be holding a pocket pair that makes him a bigger boat, even though you've boated up.
9/ Next is quads, four of a kind. Sometimes, your kicker will play here, but only when there are four of a kind on the board, obviously. If you have quads using your hole cards, no one else can have it!
10/ Next is a straight flush, which is a flush made from consecutive cards. You'll rarely see these, and they're nearly always well hidden.
11/ Best of all is a royal flush, which is a Broadway straight flush. If you have one, try not to pee your pants.

A couple of things to note. Pocket pairs are great starting hands because pairs beat all unpaired hands, and unpaired hands make most of the outcomes that your holecards can expect.

We often contrast "made" hands with "draws". A made hand is one that beats an unpaired hand. Often it just means a pair. A draw is usually a hand that currently cannot beat a made hand but could if it "improved".

On this board, KT9, K3 is a made hand. It is a pair of kings. Your kicker is awful though, so you have TPNK. On the same board, AQ is "drawing". Draws are often to strong hands like straights, but note that if these two hands are against each other, an ace will make AQ the better hand. If the turn is an ace, AQ has "caught up". If the turn is a jack, AQ has "drawn out" on K3. Because there is now no card on the river that can make K3 better than AQ, K3 is "drawing dead". If you have some, but little, chance of drawing out, we might say you're "drawing slim".

Some more terminology. We use capitals for the Broadway cards, numbers for the "rags". We sometimes use "s" "h" "c" "d" for the suits. Note though that As7s is different from A7s. The first is precisely ace of spades, seven of spades. The second is Ac7c/Ad7d/Ah7h/As7s. We call it a "suited ace".

If the flop is KsTs3s, it's "monotone". As7s is the strongest possible hand. It's the "nut flush".

If the flop is KsTs3d, it's "twosuited". KK is the strongest holding in the pocket here, making a set of kings. KT is also very strong, making two pair. QJ has a draw that will be filled at either end by an A or a 9. We call this an "openended straight draw", or OESD. Q9 will make a straight if a J comes. The J is not at the end of the straight but "inside" it, so Q9 has an "inside straight draw" or a "gutshot straight draw", or gutshot, gutter, gutty, GS. Q3 has another weak draw, which is called a "backdoor straight draw". It will need to "catch perfect" on the turn and river to make a straight. That doesn't often happen. On this flop, As7s has a draw to a flush. Any spade will make a flush, and because it would be the best flush if it made, it's the "nut flush draw".

If the flop is Ks7h3d, it's "rainbow". We might write that K73r. This flop is "dry" because there are not many draws possible. 65/54 have gutshots but that's it. On this board, the best possible hand in the pocket is KK, and 77/33 are very strong. You would rarely lose with any of those. K7 and K3 would also be very strong. K7 would make "top two". 73 makes "bottom two". It's not as strong because any king can easily "draw out" by "hitting its kicker", IOW, by pairing the sidecard. Note that if the turn and river paired, any K now beats 73. This is very frustrating and happens a lot.