sigh

You know, I'm sure I'll look back and laugh, but laughing is really hard at the moment. I lost the first four buyins this morning in really horrible ways. I lost on the first hand I played for the morning. A guy called off his stack with a flush draw and hit. I ran completely card dead in two tourneys and basically got eliminated on the first hand I played. Then I lost with 99 vs KJ and ran 88 into QQ. I came third in the next, when my 55 got sucked out on by A3 and the next hand I shoved A7 into AT. You couldn't fucking make this up.

This is what happened in my sixth tourney of the day. I mean, fucksake. How many can I lose like this?

Full Tilt Poker Game #8490887546: $22 + $2 Sit & Go (Turbo) (64617910), Table 1 - 30/60 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:10:24 ET - 2008/10/14
Seat 2: israelmoe (1,620)
Seat 3: francis20011 (1,285)
Seat 4: GRENLIK (1,000)
Seat 5: basatagirl (1,600)
Seat 6: Everyman (1,735)
Seat 7: mrpotto (3,085)
Seat 8: brewing (1,340)
Seat 9: WhiskeyBreath60 (1,835)
GRENLIK posts the small blind of 30
basatagirl posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to basatagirl [Kh Ks]
Everyman folds
mrpotto folds
brewing raises to 180
WhiskeyBreath60 has 15 seconds left to act
WhiskeyBreath60 folds
israelmoe calls 180
francis20011 folds
GRENLIK raises to 1,000, and is all in
basatagirl raises to 1,600, and is all in
brewing folds
israelmoe folds
basatagirl shows [Kh Ks]
GRENLIK shows [6h 6c]
Uncalled bet of 600 returned to basatagirl
*** FLOP *** [6d 7c 3s]
*** TURN *** [6d 7c 3s] [7s]
*** RIVER *** [6d 7c 3s 7s] [2d]
basatagirl shows two pair, Kings and Sevens
GRENLIK shows a full house, Sixes full of Sevens
GRENLIK wins the pot (2,360) with a full house, Sixes full of Sevens
basatagirl: sigh
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2,360 | Rake 0
Board: [6d 7c 3s 7s 2d]
Seat 2: israelmoe folded before the Flop
Seat 3: francis20011 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: GRENLIK (small blind) showed [6h 6c] and won (2,360) with a full house, Sixes full of Sevens
Seat 5: basatagirl (big blind) showed [Kh Ks] and lost with two pair, Kings and Sevens
Seat 6: Everyman didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: mrpotto didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: brewing folded before the Flop
Seat 9: WhiskeyBreath60 didn't bet (folded)


***

Then this. This is just unbearable.

Full Tilt Poker Game #8491012725: $22 + $2 Sit & Go (Turbo) (64616066), Table 1 - 200/400 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:18:41 ET - 2008/10/14
Seat 1: Senor Boston (1,540)
Seat 3: basatagirl (1,045)
Seat 4: CheckForValue (3,060)
Seat 6: GodzDice (3,345)
Seat 7: craigchin (4,510)
craigchin posts the small blind of 200
Senor Boston posts the big blind of 400
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to basatagirl [Kc 9c]
basatagirl raises to 1,045, and is all in
CheckForValue folds
GodzDice folds
craigchin folds
Senor Boston folds
Uncalled bet of 645 returned to basatagirl
basatagirl mucks
basatagirl wins the pot (1,000)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,000 | Rake 0
Seat 1: Senor Boston (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: basatagirl collected (1,000), mucked
Seat 4: CheckForValue didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: GodzDice (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: craigchin (small blind) folded before the Flop

But hey, I came back a bit, so I had hope.

Full Tilt Poker Game #8491065113: $22 + $2 Sit & Go (Turbo) (64616066), Table 1 - 250/500 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:22:08 ET - 2008/10/14
Seat 1: Senor Boston (2,530)
Seat 3: basatagirl (2,010)
Seat 4: CheckForValue (2,460)
Seat 6: GodzDice (3,345)
Seat 7: craigchin (3,155)
Senor Boston posts the small blind of 250
basatagirl posts the big blind of 500
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to basatagirl [9d 6c]
CheckForValue folds
GodzDice folds
craigchin has 15 seconds left to act
craigchin folds
Senor Boston calls 250
basatagirl checks

It's weird that he limps, but I don't think I have fold equity.

*** FLOP *** [9s Ts 4c]
Senor Boston bets 2,030, and is all in

I have to call. He would not shove with a hand that beat mine.

basatagirl calls 1,510, and is all in
Senor Boston shows [Qs 7s]

I'm right, and I'm a favourite to win.

basatagirl shows [9d 6c]
Uncalled bet of 520 returned to Senor Boston
*** TURN *** [9s Ts 4c] [5d]
*** RIVER *** [9s Ts 4c 5d] [5s]

I am -20% at the 24s. I just don't know what I could be doing that I'm not doing. I've played 38 games and lost 180 dollars. First thing this morning, I was a win away from getting my head above water. I've lost 120 dollars to suckout after suckout after suckout.

I know this ends. I know that I will run good again. KK can't be beaten by 66 every time. But man, I need that good to start now, because I can't stand this at the moment. It's just souldestroying.

And the worst thing is, this is only happening to me at the 24s. I was running bad at the 12s earlier, but that evened out, and now I'm going well in them. But in 24 after 24, I'm getting soulcrushed.