Friday 28 March 2008

Progress

I wish I was 10 per cent better at poker. But will I work at it? No. I read articles and posts, watch a video or two and play a little bit. It's not enough.

I have nearly played a thousand $5 STTs. That's not many in the time I've been at it. I beat the level soundly. I also beat $10s pretty decently. I don't have a good sample size, but I feel I am easily beating them. I worry that I only beat these games because I play on PokerRoom a lot. I beat the $6.5s though too. Again, small sample size, but I'm winning.

So I know I win at poker to some degree.

But I need to be a bit better. Not a tremendous amount, but maybe just enough that I can't achieve it.

It's tough to know what the best thing to do to improve is. When you feel like that, you tend not to do anything, which is retarded. Anything would be good, just so long as you're studying/playing. It's just tough to feel any progress. You only feel it long after you've made it.

Part of the problem is that there are several ways to achieve my goals, but each needs a different emphasis. If I could play at 20 per cent at the 22 regulars, or 15 per cent at the 33 regs, I would be there; 15 per cent at the 16s is also good enough, I think, but I'd need to do a ton of tables. But the way to each goal is a bit different.

I never have enough hours. The kids aren't settled till nine most nights, and that's too late to start a long session. Sigh.

Maybe I'm afraid to succeed. If I get there, I could leave this place more easily, and maybe that's a frightening thought for me, sufficiently so that I don't try too hard?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

boots sez:

"I wish I was 10 per cent better at poker. But will I work at it? No."

That's excellent. Granted you may wish to be better, but you don't want to have to work at it. You can work at what you already do for a living.

Poker's your escape, right? I mean, you could get a different job making more money and you could work at it and make more money. Matter of time and sweat.

That isn't, I think, what poker's about for you. Maybe it will turn out that poker is your path, maybe it will turn out that your path lies elsewhere. But when you find it, working at it won't be in the picture. It'll work without working. You'll find your zone and you'll fall in love with the feeling of being in that zone and the only work you'll need to do is to become stronger at pulling the zone around yourself.

Maybe it's poker, maybe it's not. But if you have to work at poker, it probably isn't.

"Maybe I'm afraid to succeed. If I get there, I could leave this place more easily, and maybe that's a frightening thought for me, sufficiently so that I don't try too hard?"

For some people success is a small thing, their crust of bread after a day's sweat. They find it easy to accept, it's no big deal.

For others success can be intimidating. I mean, the fucking groupies tearing at your clothes and all, needing security guards to have a bit of quiet, that's just unappealing. <g>

Dr Zen said...

Everyone has to work at poker. Even if the only work they do is play a lot of hands.

I'd like to know what this job is that I can earn ever more money at. If it existed, I'd be doing it.

Anonymous said...

boots sez:

"I'd like to know what this job is that I can earn ever more money at. If it existed, I'd be doing it."

Check your local want-ads. Look into becoming a plumber, they make good money. Start a business pumping the shit out of septic tanks, they make good money. It depends on "opportunities near you", a willingness to get dirty, and sweat and persistence.

Find the thing that nobody else will do because it's totally fucking odious, that'll be well paid because otherwise it would remain undone.

Problem is, you don't want to do that kind of nasty shit any more than the next fellow does. You want to sit comfortably as the money rolls in. We all do.